Finding Clarity

All my life I’ve been eager to please. Rattled by the notion that someone might not like me. Drinking made me likable, or so I thought. I was afraid people would think I was lame if I didn’t drink. It also made it easier for me in social situations, rather than just overcome my nerves to meet new people or be in a new environment, I would numb myself and I thought that was fine. Looking back I realize that it didn’t help me, in fact, it likely made me look foolish. Not one that ever understood control, I would always have more than my body could handle.

I’m sitting here now, having the moment of clarity I wished would have come many years earlier.

I’m doing something that is harming me emotionally, mentally, and physically so as to not offend other people?! Fuck that!

Today I own my power and I use my strength to take a stand against this nonsense. I decide that I love myself more than I need approval of others. I’m deciding to find clarity and step out of the fog. I know it won’t be easy, but it will be so worth it.

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